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POLYGAMY UNDER ATTACK – FROM TOM GREEN TO BRIAN DAVID MITCHELL
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Hannah Green
Cari Green
Cari Bjorkman Age 24
I grew up out on the West Deserts of Utah, with the exception of a year or two
of life in the big city, in California. I spent my Junior High years in Delta,
Utah. Mom and Dad were married when Mom was 14 years old, so from the time I
was very young I believed that it was OK for a young woman to get started
building a family at an early young age. A lot of people out in the world can't
understand how any girl can be ready for marriage at a young age. I believe it's
a matter of how you are raised. The most important thing to me as I was growing
up was knowing that I was free to make my own choices.
Dad always let me know
that I had the right to choose for myself the way I would lead my life. Dad
never hesitated in letting us kids know his beliefs in plural marriage. He
taught us what he believed in. But at the same time he let us know from the time
we were very young that there were many other choices out there. Dad took us to
just about every church that is out there. We went to a different church just
about every Sunday while we lived in California.
And we took an active part in the young women's organizations in the LDS church
in Delta. I always knew that no matter what choices I made in my life that my
parents would respect that, and that I would have to be accountable for my own
actions.
I am the 2nd to oldest in a family of 10. I was like the Mother of the house
because my big sister turned out to be some sort of a rebel to the family
following the life of a lot of the other teenage girls in high school. She set a
good example for me of what the world had to offer: sneakin' out late at night,
boozing and partying with the boys.
I always knew that I wanted a big family. That was my goal from as young as I
can remember. I always wanted to be a part of a plural family. Knowing that that
was what I wanted I always shied away from making too many friends in school, I
was quiet and set back. None of those other kids fit my ideal for friends.
When I was in the 8th grade mom delivered a little boy two months early. He
required a lot of medical attention that we couldn't get out on the west desert
so we moved quite suddenly to Delta. When we moved I made the conscious decision
that I was going to change. Nobody knew me and I could be anybody I choose to
be. So I decided that I was going to play that role of "Cool".
It worked. I did my hair all up like all the other girls in school, I made up my
mind to not be afraid to talk to anybody. And I let the guys know that I was
interested. Within a month I was asked out. The guy was a jerk and I knew it so
I declined and instead I asked another guy out. It turned into a courtship that
lasted for two years. I let him know that I believed in plural marriage and he
let me know that he did not. He cut the relationship off when he went on his
mission for the LDS church with the intent to get together after he came back,
if I still wanted to.
After he left I started dating with anybody that asked me out. Everybody else
was doing it so that was the thing to do. I started sneaking out at night and
doing anything that I could to be "Cool." I learned that that never
made me happy. All it was was heartache between me and my buddies, a war
of jealousy and deceit. I knew what I wanted out of life, and this was getting
me nowhere.
When I was fifteen, my little sister and I were invited to got to New York
to a plural family to baby sit . On that trip I saw the perfect family, the one
that I dreamt of having all my life. I saw a man who could care for and love
each wife that he had and all the children that they brought into the family.
They taught their children all the values and morals that I had been brought up
to believe in. I fell in love, not just with the man, but with the family,
with his children, and his wives. I became
very close friends with his wives.
I knew that if I were in this family I wouldn't have to pretend anymore.
I wouldn't have to look "cool" or dress fancy. I knew that all my
friends would look down on me and they would think that I was crazy. I
knew that I could even lose friends over the decision that I was making.
None of that mattered to me. I knew that this family was where I
belonged. I knew that in this family I could "have my cake and eat it
too." I could be a wife and Mother and still be free to see the world and
finish my education.
In all the 9 years that I have been married I have never regretted making
the decision that I did. I admit that it was much more than I bargained
for in the beginning. I have had my share of struggles and doubts. I've
watched wives come and go in this family. I knew from day one that this was my
decision. I knew that I was not stuck. I could leave whenever I wanted to. I've
had offers from people to help me if ever I wanted to leave.
Nine years ago I made a decision based on my religious beliefs, based on
the principle of Free agency. Every person has the right to choose for
themselves how they want to spend the rest of their lives. Many people out
in the world make the choice to have only one wife. Many have only one
wife, yet have other relations on the side. Many men out there sleep
around with young girls just to gratify their own lustful desires. They create
children and abandon them.
So many girls in society as young as 12 years old are out there sleeping around
creating children with others. They are out to have a good time. People
tolerate this and accept it. "So they messed up. Oops, lets get them on
birth control so that doesn't happen again." It's OK with society that they
are out screwing around. But when a young girl chooses a good
man that will stand by her until death and be a father to her children and love
her and cherish her, then they say, "that is wrong!" According to
society NO young girl is capable of making a choice about marriage. It is ok to
make the choice to have sex with some kid. But when she considers a man who will
stand by her and make it last for life, they say she's just a brainwashed child
who doesn't know any better.
Now I am in my mid-twenties, the mother of 29 children, (three of which I gave
birth to). I handle the food for our family. I am the one responsible for the
menu making, and food storage management. Until recently I was responsible for
all the cooking and kitchen clean up as well. Now we all share in that end of
the responsibilities.
The decision that I made to join this family has proved with time to be a good
one. It works. I was able to finish my education and get my GED, I've been clear
across the US sightseeing and working. My children have had the same
opportunity. With the help of my Sister-wives, (mothering my children) I have
been able to take part in our community. More than two years ago I became a den
mother for the Cub Scouts at the local LDS church. I spent a week away in
training for that position. Also, I'm a member of the Local Volunteer Fire Dept
and have gone through training for that.
With time I plan to expand my education, and get my EMT certification and become
a certified midwife. We have plans to develop and expand our land and grow
gardens and raise many animals. I have high expectations for our future.
God gave us all a divine gift when he gave us a chance to come down here to this
earth. That was the gift of Free agency. Every man has the right to choose their
own destiny. I don't hide my beliefs from anybody. I am a firm believer in what
this family stands for. We strive day in and day out to instill morals and
values into our children, We let them know that there are many different options
out there in this world and they will have to decide one day which path they
will lead. We don't shelter them from what the world has to offer. And we
encourage them to explore all their options.
I am in Love with my family and I couldn't have chosen a happier lifestyle. God
has blessed me in every aspect of the relationships in this family. If I was too
young to make the decisions that I did, and If my decisions were so wrong, then why
does it work so well???
Cari Green
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